Not that I had forgotten, but this morning I realized again what work intense week is laying ahead of me – not only will I meet with my thesis advisor and talk about my research hypothesis that has grown more acute since the last time we talked about in – wait, when was that? It seems ages ago – but I will as well give two presentations on very different subjects. One will be not too difficult to prepare, I already have done that once in a similar audience, and it has indeed some connections with my research. Moreover I have taught this topic in my classes quite often. So I could give an off-the-cuff speech if I would want to – which I do not, of course. Especially because they will give my colleague and me a small reimbursement, so we need to give them a little show.
The only two elements of uncertainty are the knowledge and expectations of the audience for whom this will be integrated into a continuous education class. I prefer to give presentations to an audience I know at least a little bit, so I can adjust it to their desires and needs.
The second and way more important presentation will be tough and quite a challenge – not so much of the presentation itself, although it has nothing to do with my research, but because I have no idea how challenging the questions by the audience will be. They might, because all of them are experts and guess who is not – yep, right, me.

Professor R. – a professor I appreciate a lot – will be there and I just do not want him to think that I am not as smart as he thought I was when he asked me to give this presentation.Β  He is such a great person. He knows so much and can present it very well that it is a pleasure for me to attend his lectures – even on a Monday morning at eight o’clock. I so do not want to make a real fool of myself.
I want this to be a marvelous presentation and right now I am worrying that I will be done after fifteen minutes.
It’s time to get rid of this stupid falling back into ‘little girl insecurity’. And it is time to sit down and work! I will chain myself to the desk.

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