November 2007


substituting for my sick colleague, feeling blah myself. and i wish i could do some teaching magic to turn the atmosphere in my afternoon class into a nice working atmosphere. this class really lays heavily on my shoulders.
and so much bureaucratic paper work to fill out.

On Friday we sent our wedding announcement to our families. My parents called the next day. My future brother-in-law called the next day. My Best Friend called the next day. My sister called the next day. They all had received it. Only my future parents in law did not call. So we called them, not mentioning anything. They did not mention anything.

Maybe they had not checked their mail box? But on Sunday they would, after church.

No call on Sunday.

Alright, the mail might take a day longer.

No call on Monday.

We called on Monday, The Fiancé said he was expecting mail to be sent to their address, had anything shown up in the mail box? No, no mail for him.

Tuesday: no call.

In the evening his brother called, telling us that their parents were a bit irritated that we did not send them a card. They did not say anything to us on the phone, but they knew from his brother about our plan to get married, and wondered why there was no card for them. On Saturday they assumed that their mail might need one more day and would arrive on Monday. On Monday they wondered why there was no card, but assumed it might arrive on Tuesday. But when there was no mail on Tuesday as well, they became irritated.

We called and told them that we had in fact sent them a card. It finally arrived Wednesday.

we are mailing post to our families that should be a big happy surprise to them.

and we are giggling “if they only knew what is awaiting them in their mail box tomorrow”.

the weekend with AB was really really good. we talked a lot and i told her everything about my job and my thesis and my fears and unhappiness and possible solutions. i have not found the right solution yet, but talking with her helped me untie some of those knots.

i wish she lived nearby.

the phone line in our apartment is broken, so i cannot reach The Fiancé or will be able to work online while i am staying at our apartment. that is such a pain in the neck. and the hotline is not really helpful. hopefully they will have repaired it within the next couples of days.

and i sucked as a teacher again. while the morning class really works nicely, the huge crowd in the afternoon did not. i wish i had a solution. it is just so frustrating.

next week i have the opportunity to present my own thesis project to a group of researchers at another university to ask for comments and advice. however, i need to get definitely some reading done, because i have not really worked on my thesis since – what – august?

the meeting with PD and BD was horrible. they roasted me and gave me such a hard time that i was close to burst into tears, but i waited until they had left. i am quitting. the thesis. and the job. i am so unhappy. and i see no progress. why shall i waste my youth and time on a project that does not work out at all? i should start looking at offers at consulting companies.

i am leaving for the weekend to attend a meeting on saturday down south, and on my way back i will visit AB who i have not seen since late january. i am so much looking to spend time with her.

class 1 was alright, the bigger class 2 was just horrible. how shall i be a good teacher if all circumstances are working against me? the room, the technical equipment, and an oversized class. there is just no fresh air after five minutes, and if we open the windows half of them freeze. it is late in the afternoon. some arrive late form other classes. some have to leave early for other classes. not everybody has a chair. and to be honest are neither the content nor i charismatic enough to catch 90 minutes attention of every single of the 60 students. after all, this is an intro class, and a requirement. and it is not a lecture. they have to work in groups. oy. and i want this to be a fruitful class they enjoy to attend. how shall we survive this class?