Blogging


Sometimes I just do not like to think about a fancy post title, especially if the post is a short one. Therefore I decided to label some posts with the permalink post number. In the beginning this worked fine, but suddenly the numbers are increasing. I am at post number 1947 although I have not published post no. 300 yet. I know by now that all the autosaves are numbered, but I have not figured out yet how to switch off this feature. I guess I just stop and label them with their real-posted-no. instead.

Bl*gger does not seem to like my comments – I have no other explanation for its refusal to let me comment on this blog as well.

Girlorange: Fall is such a gorgeous season – foliage, hot apple cider, pumpkins…

(And even W*rdpress wants me to struggle with it. Quite a few comments have been swallowed by the software on Yaeli’s and Frau Freitag’s blogs. )

I am so annoyed with G*ogle/Bl*gger – I have tried so often to comment on different blogs, but when I try to log into my account, I always get a “Sorry, we cannot handle your request right now” kind of message.

Anyway, now as a post: “What a wonderful wedding! Congratulations to the two of you! I wish you all the best”
and
Happy belated birthday! Btw there were quite a few posts which I would love to comment, but my request cannot be handled.”

since I blogged here the last time. It’s not a lack of interest, but I was just so preoccupied with work, especially as the semester was over and I finally had time to return back to my thesis.

And of course I read for pleasure, but am so behind updating.

About eleven years ago I discovered the Internet and fell in love with it. Nine years ago I heard about blogs, and some while later I started blogging.

However, the Internet became to small. Interconnections between friends and acquaintances developed. And my online life became too public for me, especially if you want to shed while being in your growing up process.  So I retreated into my offline shell again. Some while later I started blogging here, anonymous and pseudonymous. Trying to hide as much as possible, alienating a lot – and sometimes not publishing written posts, for example about concerts I visited (I will make them public asap). But this restricts me from writing about a lot that I care about, such as politics. So I guess I will ease my self restrictions a bit. (Linguists surely would have figured out where I am from anyway if they take a careful look at my writing.)

So far I am making good use of the “save private” function, getting hand in glove with my posts before I finally switch their status from private to public and publish them to the big big world wide web. The little perfectionism devil in my head pulls the cords. The fact that English is not my mother tongue adds up to my hesitation.

However, I guess I will get used to it – and knowing that mistakes will be inevitable might help me in the end getting rid of the perfectionism devil – or at least domesticate the beast.

I signed on because I lead myself to believe it might help me getting finally commenced writing my dissertation. Not that I have just procrastinated so far, oh no, I have actually done a lot of reading and in my head everything seems so clear that I just need to write it down (at least the theory based chapters). Nonetheless, getting started, sitting down at my desk and take the pen into my hand appears to be so difficult. One cause is the fear to get it wrong right from the start. The other – I think more important – cause is my perfectionism. Whenever I write an essay or article, it takes me quite some time to write the first couple of sentences. I struggle, I wrestle with each word, move it in my head and heart, change the word order until I like the sentence exactly the way it is. When I am done, it is printable and hardly needs any changes – but it takes forever (if my deadline is still far away). I am hoping that blogging will give me an opportunity to get more used to simply write straightforward and publish it.

We will see if it works out.